Life is What Happens When You Have Other Plans
Navigating through the incredible amount of change and loss that occurred within 9-month period made me compelled to revisit why I left my corporate life in January 2018 to pursue a career in coaching. To ask myself how I could allow myself to be drawn into another corporate work situation which was rewarding the very qualities I possessed that were no longer satisfying. My role was expanding, becoming more demanding, and the same feelings that were present when I left my 23-year career were surfacing again. I wanted to make a move, but something was holding me back.
If I had the benefit of a crystal ball, I would have been able to understand what prompted this temporary career detour in 2018 and know that what was yet to come in my life was going to disrupt it in an unimaginable way. It would introduce stress beyond my wildest imagination, and allow me to experience the incredible kindness, love, and support not only of my family and friends, but also co-workers.
What occurred in the span between November 2018 and June 2019 would set the stage for reflection and transformation – my son’s relocation to NYC to begin freshman year in college, my brother John’s suicide three days before Thanksgiving thrust me into an appointment as Executrix of his estate and caregiver for my elderly mother, the difficult decision to relocate her to be closer to my sister for care, and the subsequent death of our mom after having a catastrophic fall in the assisted living facility. All this layered on top of trying to grieve, stay engaged at work, and balance so much unfamiliar responsibilities.
One of the biggest lessons I learned throughout this period of healing is how to just – be. The original drive prompting me to leave my corporate career in 2018 was reignited and gave me the confidence to tell my manager I would exit my role by the end of 2020. This time in my life I was following what I liked to do and leaning into what it meant to BE – be present, be happy, be empowered - and not continue to fall victim to what others expected me to do.
One of the hardest words for me to say was “no”. Sounds silly to admit. It has taken me years to learn that in order for your true self to shine, you have to be able to say both yes and no. Saying no is helping you set boundaries, helping you make space so you can say yes to those things that come into your life that feed your soul. If you are trying to be everything to everyone then you leave little space for the opportunities yet to come.
I often wonder if this growth and transformation would have occurred had I not experienced the tragedies and transitions in that 9-month span. I believe there was a plan, not within my control, for me to be exactly where I was so I could be ready for where I am.